Isn't it strange that woman have to go through so much pain just to look good?
Since I've got a lot special occasions coming up, I decided to go and get my nails done. I generally don't bite my nails but I have a nasty little nervous habit of biting on the skin around my nails, which really hurts and let's face it, looks like crap, so I have to go in regularly to get a manicure to clear that shit up so I have nothing to chew on. Anyway, that's not the topic of this post. Getting a manicure is fine and isn't painful at all (as a matter of fact, it feels nice and can be quite relaxing) but while I was there, I decided to get my eyebrows done at the same time. I generally do this at home (which is painful enough) but I'm not too picky about it (I can't be too bothered and since I don't have a uni-brow, I think it's good enough). So the lady started working on my eyebrows and damn, that was painful as shit. I was going to pass out from the pain on seat, seriously. It might've had a little bit to do with the fact that I hadn't eaten all day, but still, that shit is painful. When I opened my eyes I couldn't see at all, it was like my sight was directly related to my eyebrows.
The pain doesn't stop there. Any woman who was gotten a wax or worse, a bikini wax knows exactly what I'm talking about. Why do we have to go through so much pain? We go on and on about woman's rights and that we don't want to be put in traditional roles, then why the hell do we go through all that trouble in order to please our men?
I'm just throwing this out there, but I'm completely conditioned to do all those things and I don't think I'll ever stop, I just want to hear what you think...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Conflict Resolution
I learned something today, I have a really big mouth. I know I've always had this problem ever since school. Things just spurt out of my mouth uncontrollably and no matter how hard I try to change, I can't. I can't control the stuff that comes out of my mouth, it's like my mouth functions independently of my mind. I had written about something similar a few days ago when I was really mean to the boyfriend and today, well my big mouth got me in trouble again.
There's been lots of talk around the company about me leaving and all that jazz and I have to admit, I've indulged in office gossip and bitching but because my leaving caused such an uproar in the company, people cannot stop talking about it and they can't stop bitching to management about the decision. This of course made my soon to be ex-manager have a “talk” with me. Needless to say, I did not like the talk. There was not much to say really and I don't understand why talked to me anyway, if people are pissed off because of their actions, what am I supposed to do about it? Defend them?
The perfect course of action would to keep my mouth shut or as my boyfriend puts it, I should've gone all out. Either one would've been better than my conflict avoidance technique. I'm starting to think denial is not the answer to all my problems. The truth is I'm terrified of conflict. I just really don't like it. It freaks me out and my mind draws a complete blank and I retreat deep inside myself and I take all the shit that everyone throws my way and then in retrospect, I sit and I think of all the smart and witty things I could've said.
Anyway, there's no use bitching about it, at least she's taken time off for the holidays and that means I won't see her until it's time for me to leave work and that's the silver lining.
There's been lots of talk around the company about me leaving and all that jazz and I have to admit, I've indulged in office gossip and bitching but because my leaving caused such an uproar in the company, people cannot stop talking about it and they can't stop bitching to management about the decision. This of course made my soon to be ex-manager have a “talk” with me. Needless to say, I did not like the talk. There was not much to say really and I don't understand why talked to me anyway, if people are pissed off because of their actions, what am I supposed to do about it? Defend them?
The perfect course of action would to keep my mouth shut or as my boyfriend puts it, I should've gone all out. Either one would've been better than my conflict avoidance technique. I'm starting to think denial is not the answer to all my problems. The truth is I'm terrified of conflict. I just really don't like it. It freaks me out and my mind draws a complete blank and I retreat deep inside myself and I take all the shit that everyone throws my way and then in retrospect, I sit and I think of all the smart and witty things I could've said.
Anyway, there's no use bitching about it, at least she's taken time off for the holidays and that means I won't see her until it's time for me to leave work and that's the silver lining.
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
I don't want to say that I have failed but a part of me feels that I have. I haven't kept my promise. This week I haven't blogged everyday like I should've and a part of me feels like I had nothing to say anyway. I don't want this blog to be an online journal of my life, I already keep a journal, but I don't always feel like I have anything interesting to write about. I can't say I'm not disappointed in the number of my followers. I had gotten all excited when I started getting followers and a part of me felt that they would keep on coming, but they haven't. I've been reading a lot of other people's blogs and there are some out there that I really like and I'm amazed at the ideas people come up with every day.
I hate to say that I have failed but I think I have when it comes to blogging.
I don't want to feel the way I'm feeling now. A part of me feels sorry for myself and that is the feeling I hate the most. I do not want to wallow in self pity. I think I'm falling apart. I've made a mess of everything in my life and I don't know if I can fix it. I'm trying to look on the bright side. I still have my whole life ahead of me, I have a man who loves me, I have a family that loves and will look after me no matter what. My mother always says that as long as you have your health, that's all that matter, all the rest is just extra, health is the most important thing.
My boyfriend is coming this weekend (finally) and for one week everything will be crazy busy, but after that, it's vacation time. I really think that that's what I need, a break from all the stress.
I hate to say that I have failed but I think I have when it comes to blogging.
I don't want to feel the way I'm feeling now. A part of me feels sorry for myself and that is the feeling I hate the most. I do not want to wallow in self pity. I think I'm falling apart. I've made a mess of everything in my life and I don't know if I can fix it. I'm trying to look on the bright side. I still have my whole life ahead of me, I have a man who loves me, I have a family that loves and will look after me no matter what. My mother always says that as long as you have your health, that's all that matter, all the rest is just extra, health is the most important thing.
My boyfriend is coming this weekend (finally) and for one week everything will be crazy busy, but after that, it's vacation time. I really think that that's what I need, a break from all the stress.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Writing
Since I've been job-hunting I've been sending out resume's left, right, and center and so far I've gotten only one response, to do some freelance writing for an online magazine, which sounds interesting except, I've done any writing for a magazine before and I'm not entirely sure where to start. They've asked me send them sample of my writing and I'm not sure what would make a good sample. Do I fish out something I've written before or do I start writing something from scratch? And what genre? The magazine does reviews about what's new and what's cool around town, places, movies, books, you name it. It's like a city guide, so I'm not sure what kind of think I should write about and how long should the sample be? I must say I'm a little nervous. It's not a big deal if I don't get the job (the pay is actually crap) but for me, it's just means that I get to do something during my day, even if it's for a couple of hours.
I was having coffee with the girl who sits next to me at work. She was made redundant too and this is her last working week and we realized that's it's being redundant that bothers us, it's the way that it was done, the complete lack of respect that was given to us after putting in all those years and all that time and what terrifies us the most is what we're going to do when it's over. Just the thought of waking up in the morning and not having anything to do is killing me. What do you mean I can sit in my pj's all day? What the hell am I going to do?
I was having coffee with the girl who sits next to me at work. She was made redundant too and this is her last working week and we realized that's it's being redundant that bothers us, it's the way that it was done, the complete lack of respect that was given to us after putting in all those years and all that time and what terrifies us the most is what we're going to do when it's over. Just the thought of waking up in the morning and not having anything to do is killing me. What do you mean I can sit in my pj's all day? What the hell am I going to do?
Copacabana - Barry Manilow
Since my sister got this song stuck in my head, this is what you'll have to deal with
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....they fell in love
(Copa Copacabana)
His name was Rico, he wore a diamond
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancin' there
And when she finished, he called her over
But Rico went a bit too far, Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....she lost her love
(Copa. . Copacabana)
(Copa Copacabana) (Copacabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacabana)
(Talking Havana have a banana)
(Music and passion...always the fash--shun)
Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind!
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....don't fall in love
(Copa) don't fall in love
Copacabana
Copacabana
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....they fell in love
(Copa Copacabana)
His name was Rico, he wore a diamond
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancin' there
And when she finished, he called her over
But Rico went a bit too far, Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....she lost her love
(Copa. . Copacabana)
(Copa Copacabana) (Copacabana, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacabana)
(Talking Havana have a banana)
(Music and passion...always the fash--shun)
Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind!
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....don't fall in love
(Copa) don't fall in love
Copacabana
Copacabana
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Karma
Even though I got made redundant, I'm still supposed to work until mid Jan. I don't mind it so much especially since I really don't care anymore and I know there's nothing they can do to me if I slack off, what more could they do? They need me there until they find my replacement. They've already hired someone but she's not going to be able to start until mid January. I think the worst thing about going to work is the all drama that's been sparked up by my redundancy. Most of my co-workers are furious about it and feel that it was unfair. They know I never received a warning and they know that my performance, even if it was bad, it wasn't bad enough to warrant a dismissal. They realize that it has become nothing but a political game and ever since the company changed from foreign management to local management it has gone down the drain. The sentiments of my co-workers are touching and it makes it harder to say goodbye. All the water cooler talks are honestly becoming very exhausting.
I've always believed in Karma, what goes around comes around and here's the silver lining to all of this mess. My manager, or should I say my ex-manager, is becoming one of the most hated people in the company. The amount of bad rep she's getting is startling and I can't lie, I'm loving it. All the effort she has spent in the last two years gaining credibility and respect has been lost in the glimpse of an eye and I like it. Karma is a bitch. It's also my best friend.
I've always believed in Karma, what goes around comes around and here's the silver lining to all of this mess. My manager, or should I say my ex-manager, is becoming one of the most hated people in the company. The amount of bad rep she's getting is startling and I can't lie, I'm loving it. All the effort she has spent in the last two years gaining credibility and respect has been lost in the glimpse of an eye and I like it. Karma is a bitch. It's also my best friend.
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