Will You Marry Me?

My last boyfriend was an interesting fellow. Right from the start, all signs pointed in the correct direction. He was totally my type, he had the looks, had the twisted sense of humor, had the brains, and was heir to a successful business. So all in all, he scored 9 points out of 10. We met at a party through a common friend and hit it off immediately. It was summer and love was in the air. We spent countless days at the beach, relaxed and having fun. The relationship quickly developed and we became an inseparable item. The perfect fairytale story... and all fairy-tales must have a happy ending.

We had been together for a few years and things were going pretty good and we were quite happy until the most dreaded topic in any relationship came up... where is this going.... And as much as you try to put off this topic, years, months, or decades, it always, always comes up. There's no avoiding it. I suppose it's human nature to want to progress, to want to go somewhere. Or maybe that's just the way we've been conditioned since an early age. We get old enough to go to kindergarten, then we move on to elementary, middle school, high school, college,.. and it just goes on. Something always has to lead to something else, we're never satisfied with things the way they are... Anyway, I digress, back to the ex-boyfriend.

So, when talks about the where this was going, I had the shock of my life. Get this, the douche bag gives me a conditional proposal. Now I'm not particularly romantic, nor am I high-maintenance (and I really mean it), but a conditional proposal, seriously? This guy tells me that he would marry me if I changed half the things about me, the things that make me really me. He of course adds the standard I love you and can't live without you routine, but... BUT? Seriously?

I remember sitting there, in that restaurant, with my mouth gaping wide in utter bewilderment, trying, really trying to find one saving grace in the entire proposal and I found none. So I shut my mouth, gave him a firm no, and walked away.

Does this moron stop there? NO, of course not. He calls my mother, MY MOTHER, of all people, the one person who has been desperately trying to marry me off since I graduated from college, to try and tell her to talk some sense into me and that I was just being stubborn. Lucky for me, my mother decided to back me up, no one talks about her daughter that way! (Of course that didn't save me from the nagging I got later on).

Does he stop there? NO... He send me a letter, not an email, but a hand written letter that he got delivered to my doorstep where he proceeds to tell me that I am losing the best thing that would ever happen to me, and that I would live to regret this decision. I believe he used the word gem to describe himself. Where is that damned letter, anyway? Needless to say, I fell off my chair literally because I was laughing so hard. (I really need to find that letter).

But like I said, the fairytale must have a happy ending, and here it is: that break up was the easiest break up I've ever gone through, and not once have I regretted it. On the contrary, it was the best decision I ever made.