More on Cutting the Cord

I always wondered how women could stay in unhealthy relationships and always thought that they should just toughen up, pack up their shit, and just leave and never look up. I thought that it was easy and wondered by so many of them just stayed even though their men were complete assholes and/or were abusive. I found out the hard way that it's not so easy.

I had been with this guy for a few years and initially, the relationship was everything I could wish for. We met in college and had hit it off immediately. The chemistry between was incredible and the intensity of what I was feeling made me dizzy. I had fallen head over heels in love in a matter of days and I was addicted to feelings of love and happiness. Those days didn't last though and soon enough, I found myself in an emotional roller coaster that took me from the heights of passion to the pits of misery. Thankfully the relationship was not physically abusive (even though there were times where I really thought he would hit me), the emotional abuse was extreme. I never knew where I stood and I cannot even begin to count the number of times we broke up and then get back together again. It was a freakin nightmare. I began loosing weight and the depression set in. I had become a skeleton of who I used to be, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Things around me started to fall apart, my grades suffered, relationships with my parents and siblings turned ugly (they hated him and wanted me to stop seeing him), my friends were alienated. This compounded the problem further, I could not let go of him because I had nothing else to hold on to. Where would I be if I left him? What would I have left?


My stubborn streak wouldn't let go. My inability to admit that I have failed, that I have judged him wrongly, that he was not the one for me made me try even harder to make it work and the more I tried, the more I failed. It was a vicious circle that would not end. I defended him blindly and gave him wild excuses. I even convinced myself that he had saved my life when the car spiraled out of control (because of his bad driving) when it was his fault I was in that situation in the first place. I believed it, I really did.

And then it all ended. Somewhere deep inside me, I found the balls the end it once and for all, to walk away from him and never look back, to completely erase his existence and push him out of my bubble. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and even when it was over, I had nothing but my pride to keep me company. Even though my family and my friend came back to comfort me, I still felt alone. The misery lasted for a while but eventually that went away too.

But then... a couple of years later... he comes flying into my life again... but this time it's not sad and miserable, it's hilarious. It's a fucking joke...

Read on tomorrow to find out what happens....