Day 25

They say it takes 28 days to make or break a habit and so it makes sense to assume that if I reach day 28 without smoking, I should be free of my addiction. If that is true, then why do I feel that as day 28 approaches, I’ll want to have a cigarette even more. Quitting smoking has been a real test for me, a test of will power and determination and it has been a very, very difficult test to tell the truth. I am craving a cigarette so much right now and I’m not entirely certain what I should do to resist the temptation. I’ve been thinking of that cigarette for the past three hours and distracting myself is becoming more and more difficult. It is a very good thing that I am meeting a non-smoking friend of mine soon, because if a pack of cigarettes found its way to my table, I would surely take one out and light it up.

I remember watching a stand-up performance by Denis Leary, titled No Cure for Cancer and he made compelling arguments not to quit smoking. I think he said it best when he said "it doesn't matter how big the warnings are or how much they cost, keep raising the prices, we'll break into your houses to get the fucking cigarettes they're a drug, we're addicted". I remember the first time I saw it, I thought to myself; here’s someone who understands what means to smoke and to love to smoke. The fact of the matter is, and as sad as it sounds (yes I do acknowledge that it is sad), I love to smoke. I love everything about it, the feel of the cigarette in my hands, the burning sensation when I take a drag, the smoke that I blow out, and the buzz I get from smoking a cigarette after having spent a long time without smoking. And even though I had many reasons to want to quit smoking, I have forgotten them all. If only I can have that damned cigarette right now, I would have a huge smile plastered across my face….